When we first signed my oldest up for soccer at age 4, I was excited to step into my soccer mom era. I had purchased his new tiny cleats, shin guards, and the requisite 2 soccer balls, he had his official jersey with my high school number and our last name on the back. I’m a planner. I had made sure we had everything we needed for the first day and that he looked the part, and yet… we were late to the first practice. Sure, people (especially parents of small children) run late. But here’s the thing: we lived directly across the street from the soccer field… and we were consistently late for every practice for that entire season. I couldn’t understand how I kept failing to get it together to give us enough time to make it the 70 feet to the soccer field.
Read moreMy “Perfect” Day
Although perfection is that elusive goal that none of us ever achieves because it doesn’t really exist, here’s how my fantasy “perfect” day would go:
Read morePracticing Yoga While Pregnant
Practicing yoga throughout pregnancy kept me feeling physically strong and flexible and extra aware of the changes happening in my physical body. That said, one of the biggest benefits of practicing yoga while pregnant was that I learned some mental tools that really helped me through labor. I went into labor with my first child 5 weeks early, so I missed the childbirth class I was supposed to attend the following weekend. The only thing that kept me from panicking during an unmedicated labor was the thought that everything is temporary. It had to end at some point, and I would get through it, so I used what I had learned in yoga and kept repeating that mantra in my head, and it empowered me to stay calm and feel strong.
Suburban Soccer Mom
I’m sick of this narrative touted by the Trump campaign that suburban soccer moms (they mean white suburban soccer moms) are scared of protesters in the streets, and they’ll reelect him to restore “law and order”. I am scared. I’m scared of a leader who fuels hate and racism. I’m scared of racist, armed militias murdering my friends. I’m scared of millions of people losing their healthcare plans in the middle of a global pandemic, a pandemic that the President refused to acknowledge at all for months and that he is still trying to play down as “not that bad”. I’m scared of the greed of the Trumps of the world that has sent this planet into a climate crisis that we may never recover from. I’m scared of school shooters. I’m scared that even if he loses in November, that Trump won’t vacate the White House and will improperly use federal police officers to maintain his authority like he tried to do in Portland and other US cities. I’m scared of four more years of Trump. I’m scared that he will set progress back even further than he already has. So yes, Mr. Trump, I, a white, suburban soccer mom, am scared, but not of protesters in the streets. I, and my fellow soccer moms (newsflash! Some of them are Black!) ARE the protesters in the streets. Our streets, our protests, and our suburbs may be smaller than the big cities, but we’re doing everything we can to make sure you are a one term President. Maybe YOU should be scared.
Effort and Non-attachment
Although the yogic ideals of abhyasa (effort) and vairagya (non-attachment) seem to be opposing concepts, I think about both of these at the same time when it comes to parenting as well as practicing yoga. A mom and yogi I admire, Kelley Carboni-Woods, says that “motherhood is a practice,” and this really resonates with me. I am constantly trying to be the best mother I can be, as I am fully devoted to my children. However, sometimes I fall short of my idea of “the perfect mom” and don’t always address issues with my kids they way I wish I had. I’m trying to be gentle with myself, though, and let go of my idea of the perfect mother and feel good for trying my best. Nothing will teach you non-attachment like having kids. I always have to change my plan at the last minute because someone is cranky, hungry, had a giant diaper blowout, or a myriad of other things that can go wrong during the day when you have small children. I always sincerely try with my kids, but I can’t be too attached to the outcome. In the short term, I know I may have to abandon my plans on any given day or apologize later for snapping at my son, and in the long term, I know that I can’t become too attached to my ideas for who they’ll be in the future. They’re going to become their own people, and I have only so much of a say. I’m learning to let go a little bit at a time.
Sloane Margaret Haight
She’s here! Our second magical child, Sloane, was born on August 27th, and our family truly feels complete. (Never say never though!)
All photos by Victoria Gloria of http://www.mymotherhoodstory.com/
Expecting Baby #2
I haven’t been blogging a lot (or really at all) in the last year, because a ton has been going on in my personal life, both good and bad, but the best news is that we’ll be welcoming a new baby into our family in September! We’re so excited, and I’ve been feeling generally pretty great (or maybe just good) and I’m continuing to teach through August. I hope to see you on your mats, and in the meantime, check out some of our beautiful family photos taken by the lovely, Victoria Gloria, whom I highly recommend if you’re in the Tri-state/New England area!
